Song for today: Crazy (live version) by Tori Amos.

I am sitting here today dying (YES, REALLY).  Ok, perhaps not, but I really do feel very ill and it was a monumental effort to get from my bed to the lounge, which is not far at all.  I feel like I deserve a medal or something though.  I can’t even eat properly, which means that I might as well be dead, to be honest.  My face feels like it’s been bashed in with a brick, I can’t swallow without it hurting, and I ache all over.  To use one of my favourite words: WOE.

Anyway, following on from the Scarlet’s Walk post is a post about the song that I have been listening to a lot in the last couple of days. That’s part of the reason I wanted to start this blog, because music is so important to me, and I want to share that, but at the time of writing I have 220 Facebook friends (some that are actually friends!) and I’m guessing that only a handful care about what I am listening to on any given day.  So I needed a better outlet, and here it is.

Crazy is a lovely little song on Scarlet’s Walk.  One of those songs that I loved but that never really reached into my core.  One of the things that I love about life is that sometimes a piece of art (whatever it is), that you have know for years, takes on a different meaning when you have new experiences, or are feeling in a certain way.  In this case, and often for me, it is about a song.

Crazy is one of those songs.  I have always been pretty straight-laced.  I am basically a follower of Rules. There are many reasons for this, but there we go.  I don’t like breaking rules, I stick to boundaries imposed (official and imagined), I don’t tend to take risks.  In recent years that has changed and especially during the time of my most recent break up.  I had a wild, hedonistic patch of summer, full of things that were done purely for pleasure, for *my* pleasure.  I have never really done that before. I had never let myself be solely driven by my wants and desires.  I went out drinking almost every night; I was impulsive; I thought “fuck it” and just went with what I was feeling at the time (I bought a freaking felted deer head-dress that was eye-wateringly expensive, because I wanted it and because I could.  And because I was really, really drunk).  It could never continue long-term, and it had some negative side-effects, but I don’t regret a single second of it.  I had created my own path for a change and it was an incredible experience.

So, now I understand Crazy a bit more. Lyrics are here.  Pretty self-explanatory, although for “unzip your religion down” I see that as being rules, I guess.  My religion being rules and the following of them, and having it all unzipped so I could just go a bit, well, crazy.

It is also a particularly beautiful version, just Tori and the piano, and has a lovely explanation to introduce it.


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