The best description of denial that I’ve ever seen. From this interview:
A child must repress the experience of abuse in order to survive. How does such a life-enhancing mechanism transform itself into a life-stifling one?
This mechanism doesn’t transform itself. It remains the same but it is no longer adapted to new circumstances. We don’t need it as adults. Thus we must let it go. Otherwise we can’t take advantage of being an adult; we continue to live as dependent children. If you made a trip in a plane, you needed to fasten your seat-bells for your security. But after having left the plane, when you are walking on the earth, you no longer need it. You would not keep it. But most people do exactly that. They keep on the earth what was life-saving to them in the air. They walk as adults with the denial that saved their lives in childhood. And what was necessary THEN, becomes life-stifling NOW.